I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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