Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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