its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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