vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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