You can't motorboat a personality
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
