In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
