we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
