I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
