At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
