is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
