I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
