it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
