it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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