Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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