Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
