you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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