i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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