Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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