If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I've blown a few things in my day
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
