While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
