Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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