"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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