I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
