i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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