Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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