so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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