i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
