You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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