You really coming over, don't trick.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
