but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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