He is an equal opportunity slut.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
