Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
