Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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