I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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