And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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