Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
