If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
