She's JV to your varsity
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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