I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
