A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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