And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
