i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
