How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
