You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
