theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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