He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
