I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
