.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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