Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
