Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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