I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
